The Courage to Be Seen
This week, we are in New Hampshire visiting family, enjoying the weather, floating on the Merrimack River, and “savoring the moments.” Everyone here sings the praises of Noah Kahan, who grew up in Vermont and has risen to fame over the past few years.
Our family recently saw him in concert at Fenway Park in Boston, and after they introduced us to his music, we watched the Netflix documentary Noah Kahan: Out of Body. It touched my heart deeply. He bares his soul through his music and showed remarkable vulnerability in the film. Even saying I was deeply moved by his honesty does not fully capture what I felt.
Brené Brown, in her book Braving the Wilderness, shares that becoming ourselves is the wilderness we all face. Noah Kahan bravely opened his heart in the documentary, describing his struggles with body image, anxiety, and depression. Through The Busyhead Project, he turns that vulnerability into advocacy, using his music, public platform, and fan community to remind people that mental health struggles should not be hidden, no one should have to feel alone, and care should be easier to find.
Noah’s bravery feels deeply meaningful. Even when openness invites criticism, I hope he keeps sharing honestly. As a therapist, I admire his willingness to name the struggles that so many people carry quietly. I also relate to the lifelong work of accepting ourselves with kindness. Acceptance is a key part of building a mindfulness practice: accepting our uniqueness, accepting our quirks, and practicing kindness toward ourselves. This is a lifetime adventure.
When we live with honesty, vulnerability, and compassion, we give others permission to step more fully into their own truth. Perhaps the bravest work of our lives is learning to meet ourselves with kindness, so we can help others feel less alone on the journey. May we all keep choosing authenticity, even when it feels vulnerable, and trust that our honesty can become a light for someone else.
On a more personal note, I have faced years of harsh criticism and judgment because of my willingness to share the tragedies and struggles in my own life. There seems to be an assumption that therapists should have everything together, but I have never believed that to be true. I was trained in Transpersonal Psychology by one of its founders, Stanislav Grof, MD, who taught us that we are all on this journey together. One of us may be a little further down the road, but we are all still learning what it means to be human.
As a younger woman, I spent ten years in therapy, studied Holotropic Breathwork with Stanislav Grof, became a Certified Holotropic Breathworker after 750 hours of training, attended graduate school, and dug deeply into my own shame and trauma. It has been quite a journey, and it is one I am still on today. Every invitation we accept toward our own healing also strengthens our ability to be present for others.
I no longer feel shame because of my background. My best friend once told me she didn’t know anyone who had carried so much trauma. Over time, I came to believe that God, my higher power, brought me through these experiences so I could genuinely understand and sit with others as they work through their own shame and regrets. It took decades before I could trust that something good could come from my trauma history, but today I can see how those experiences have deepened my capacity for compassion and strengthened my ability to sit with others as they move toward their authentic selves.
Noah Kahan’s willingness to be vulnerable reminds me that authenticity is not only an act of courage, but also an invitation. His openness helped me remember my own journey of sharing honestly, healing with compassion, and trusting that our stories can serve a purpose beyond ourselves. When we live with honesty, vulnerability, and compassion, we give others permission to step more fully into their own truth. Perhaps the bravest work of our lives is learning to meet ourselves with kindness, so we can help others feel less alone on the journey. May we all keep choosing authenticity, even when it feels vulnerable, and trust that our honesty can become a light for someone else.
“Savor the Moments”
Dr. Pamm